The Bestest Awesomoriffic Proclear Toric Contacts Review
For a few months now I’ve been toiling around with various contacts for my sensitive eyes. Even my Optometrist said that my eyes are extremely sensitive and all the contacts I’ve been using would be fine for normal use by “normal” people. How dare he call me abnormal? I deductively knee-punched him in his medulla oblongata and ordered him to bring me the best contact lenses from his kingdom of Optometry.
…And he did. He brought forth the enchanted Proclear Toric something-er rather Contact Lens. The monthly contacts with the enchanted powers of Merlin’s tears. The power to see, and the power to be.
Lets go over the review shall we?
Pros:
1) VERY thin in terms of thickness. I believe the polymer was extracted from the phallic horn of a long deceased unicorn that ended up being cloned via blood extract from a mosquito frozen in time within amber.
2) Blue tinted. I hate trying to find clear contacts within a clear saline soup.
3) Lasts a long time… Way, WAY past the longevity of contact lenses created by humans. Unless you come from the future and ask me to give you my clothes, just clean them normally and they won’t rip so you can use em time after time. For the record, mine were used for a day under 2 months. I rule at contact lens Olympics.
Cons:
1) They don’t repair eye damage. A keychain laser beam was bounced off of 18 one-way mirrors and hit me square in the cornea, burning off my ability to see in the dark. Good thing there are no Vampires. Note: I’m now healed and have X-Ray vision.
2) Don’t empower you to shoot laser beams out of your eyeballs that were stored up from laser pointer red beam power.
3) They are comparatively expensive… At least that’s what my credit card says. I don’t trust plastic. Do you?
4) Proclear Torics dry out my eyes a bit. I live in the paradise of Los Angeles however and drive around with my rich movie stars and of course the top is down on my Mercedes SLK-class sports car. Stupid Proclear contacts don’t have automatic tear enrichers. (One day contacts will melt into your eyeballs on command: EYEBALL TEARS ON!)
There you have it! The mostest awesome0riffic contact review out there for Proclear Toric Contacts. Empowering you from eyeball to eyeball.
Proclear Toric contacts are my choice. Coopervision©. You are the man!
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